Explosion of Hearts
by Carath
Summary: After Jack told Shepard, that she needed to visit Pragia to blow up the Cerberus facility to calm her mind, the team fights together against the demons of her past and finally someone comes to terms with herself through the unexpected kindness of another. [Eventual Femslash between Femshep & Jack. Though mainly centered in ME2, the story includes spoilers for the whole series.]


_Pairings: Femshep & Jack_

 _Description: Shepard, Garrus and Jack land on Pragia, the isolated jungle planet on which Cerberus used to have a research facility for biotic experiments on children. After Jack told Shepard, that she needed to see that place and to blow it up to pieces to somehow calm her mind, the three of them fight together against the demons of her past and finally someone comes to terms with herself through the kindness of another. [Eventual Femslash between Femshep & Jack. Though mainly centered in ME2, the story includes spoilers for the whole series.]_

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 **Chapter 1 - The Landing on Pragia**

Commander Shepard let the small shuttle, which took herself, Jack and Garrus from the Normandy onto the soil of Pragia, and felt very uneasy. Generally spoken, she had no problem at all to dig up a few of Cerberus' secrets and in the process of which to have the chance of an adrenaline-ridden fight. She would gain much more information about this secretive "terrorist" organisation, as Ashley Williams had called it on their brief meeting by chance on Horizon, where Shepard tried to stop the Collectors from kidnapping undisturbed the inhabitants of the human colony. On the one side, Cerberus had rescued her life and resurrected her as the aim of project Lazarus under Miranda Lawson. On the other, Ash was right: Shepard always trusted her instincts - and they told her to get as much distance between herself and the Illusive Man as possible. Thence Cerberus agents where just an extension of his reach, so whatever they would find on Pragia, it would have been under the order of that secretive organization's leader.

Yet, she needed Cerberus' ressources. May that organization be as shady as it is, for the moment, Shepard and them united a common goal. They needed to put an end to the Collector's threat towards the human colonies and, if rumours were to be trusted, to kick another tool of the Reapers out of the game - the very game to save the galaxy. Damn, Shepard needed _really_ a day off...

It was through Cerberus-intel that the Commander got to know about _Subject Zero_. If their files spoke the truth, Jack was one of the most capable human biotics of the whole known galaxy. In that capacity she was a tremendous support for the Normandy's crew. The new member had just one flaw - she seemed to be highly aggressive and emotional unstable. After Shepard took Jack on board of her ship the Commander had some restless nights thinking about the tattooed, always quarrelling and swearing woman. How could she reach her on an emotional level to become stable for the mission? Thus when one day Jack opened up and asked a favour of Shepard, to fly to Pragia, the place of her tormented childhood, and to blast the Cerberus facility, in which she was raised, to pieces, the commander didn't need to think twice for her answer. Of course she said yes. Indeed, Shepard was prepared, to do whatever it might take to save the galaxy and if that meant destroying a long abandoned research facility, why not? Anyway, it was close to a wonder that Shepard had managed to gain the trust of Jack so far as that the very reserved woman actually asked for a favour. It would have been outright stupid, not to take that chance. Well, actually it was way too early to call their relationship _trustful_ , but you got to start somehow, don't you?

Nevertheless there was another reason to it and to her restless nights. After all these years of fighting, of being strong, of surviving and of killing, Shepard wasn't sure for a long time if she could ever feel attraction for someone again. The victims of her seemingly endless fights haunted her at night... She'd lost count how often she'd woken up, hot sweat covering her body, fear and terror in her eyes and in her mind. Sometines the Commander feared to go to sleep more than actual combat - especially after her resurrection.

Yet, as it is very often the case, she had to admit to herself in all honesty, that she liked Jack and that this obviously very troubled woman was able to melt away the ice cold stone, that had replaced Shepard's heart after the tragedy of Virmire. During that doomed attack she had to choose between the life of Ashley or that of Kaidan. She did decide for Ashley and did what had to be done to make sure the mission was a success but in willingly sacrificing one friend for another she felt a piece of herself being killed as well. The dark pit she fell into ever since that incident when she was alone with herself in the quiet of her room was horrible. On the good side it strengthened her resolve to win the battle against the Reapers in order to make the death of Kaidan count. On the bad side, she drew the walls around her inner self higher and higher and let no one near her anymore. Out of respect, no one tried anyway.

So _Subject Zero_ interested Shepard immensely. Even though Jack was so mean all the time, Shepard could relate to her struggles and somehow felt at ease around her. Therefore she also agreed to Jack's request to go to Pragia because she was interested in that mysterious girls' past. The first human spectre even wondered from time to time, whether she interpreted the eyes of Jack correctly - behind the barrage of tough words the biotic always had something vulnerable and caring in her ever so often watchful eyes. Shepard liked that.

"What exactly are we doing on this planet of nothingness now?", Garrus asked as Shepard sat down into the seat opposite of him and Jack .

"Apparently, we're searching for a Cerberus facility", Shepard answered.

"...did I say a planet of nothingness - full of green poisonous mutating plants?", Garrus fell in sarcastically.

Jack retorted slightly agitated: "A freaking Cerberus facility, which we want to blow up, so it can never again do any harm to anyone anymore!"

"Well, I like blowing up things, but why would we come here now for it? I mean EDI said something about the planet was mainly deserted and this facility isn't used anymore? Surely we got more important targets on our list?!", the Turian inquired with a certain playful and unpatient edge to his voice.

The tattoed woman awkwardly switched around in her seat and in an absent gesture of nervousness grapped her own hands tightly. So Shepard elaborated for her:

"Jack came to me and asked if we could go down here and check what is or _what was_ going on ..."

"...and to blow it up, no matter what!", Jack interrupted the Commander snidely, "They used it to make experiments on humans, who were exposed to element zero in early childhood to make them biotic...especially on children..."

"Children ... like you?", Garrus asked very cautiously and yet precisely deducting the answer before he asked the question.

As anger flickered in Jack's eyes she _explained_ flatly: "Yes."

After that the small conversation stopped as sub-lieutenant Hawthorne told the crew over their intercom that they would land in 10 seconds on their aimed location. As the shuttle's doors swang open, a damp hot and wet breeze of air filled the shuttle were the three fighter's had gathered to go outside.

Pretty annoyed by that Garrus commented zynically: "Now that's gonna be awesome... I Already got problems to breath on this hot forsaken piece of ..."

"Then put on your fucking helmet with your fucking respirator, if you are so old and need it!", Jack snapped angrily and jumped out of the shuttle onto a small clearing encircled by vast vegetation - and a small black entrance - apparently to the facility.

Shepard and Garrus shared a questioning look, the Commander shrugged and followed Jack. After inhaling deeply, Garrus went after them.

"That's it. That's the entrance to that shithole!", Jack pressed forward while she walked nervously up and down, apparently unsure where to put her anger and energy.

Shepard said commandingly: "Ok, concentration now. We don't know for sure, if we are alone. This is a mission as every other was. No mistakes - no casualties. Understood?"

Garrus and Jack nodded sternly and all three of them took out their weapons and held them in battle position. Shepard stepped to the intercom of the door, activated her universal tool and the door opened itself. They went inside.

Once the three stepped through the steelen door, it swung shut and left them with a feeling of claustrophobia. So far, neither one of them heard anything suspicious. Just a few water drops trickling down somewhere. Through windows on the ceiling of the narrow hallway fell bright sunlight. At least they wouldn't need to stick around in the dark.

"Jack!", Shepard said briskly, "Do you remember the way around this facility?"

"I just went outside the detainment area once - when I fled. Although I think I can navigate us around here, I'm not one hundred percent sure.", Jack replied.

The Commander nodded and spoke into her communication tool to the Joker in the Normandy:

"Joker! Do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, Commander. How is Jack doing?"

Jack's head snapped around and she started to respond something nasty as Shepard shot up her hand in warning and Jack, to Garrus' surprise, kept quiet.

"So far it seems we are fine here. Can EDI navigate us around here?"

A metallic familiar voice answered instead of Joker: "Affirmative. I hacked myself into Teltin's main computer and downloaded the blueprints of its structure. Shepard, be careful. As the computer was online, it seems there is still activity going on inside the facility. On it's own, the system should have run dry on energy by now."

Shepard answered: "Ok. Upload the maps onto my universal tool, please, and keep us briefed, if you find any unusual activity going on in your scans."

"Yes, I just did so."

"Shepard, end". With that the Commander nodded towards Jack and Garrus and all three of them proceeded silently and careful down the hallway. After half a minute the group encountered a wrinkled tree, growing on the ground and apparently having forced itself through the security window on the ceiling to reach the sun. EDI voice reached them over their headsets:

"Be careful! Don't breath more than necessary near this plant. It releases toxic chemicals, which slows down your musle functions and eventually paralyses you."

"Awesome...", Garrus mumbled more towards himself than to anyone else in particular.

All three of them inhaled deeply and hurried themselves to quickly step around the massive trunk of the tree and to continue on their way. Soon they were far enough and started breathing again. All three felt very uneasy.

* * *

 **Jack**

It was so weird to be back. To be back in this... this... nightmare. Yes, a nightmare it had been for quite too long; always itching in the back of my head; always being there as soon as I'd shut my eyes to go to sleep; always creeping beneath my skin. The only way so far to keep it in check were outbursts of anger and violence from time to time. But I'd to admit, that hurting myself and others didn't help. Although getting tattooed, feeling the pain of thousands of needle stitches piercing your once perfect skin and changing it, combined with the hilarious feeling of light- and dizzyness after you're done with a session helped temporarily. Maybe even more then punching someone's teeth out. Anyway, these were only short-lived remedies, which hardly kept my temper in check.

Earlier it didn't really matter. No one gave a fuck about me, no one helped me when I was in pain and no one ever comforted me. Besides these Cerberus-slaves no one ever took interest in me being alive - and they just did it for their own benefit and profit. No one... until Shepard came to me and told me that she wanted me for her team. In the beginning I just assumed she was like anyone elso of these backstabbers. That she just wanted me for her to meet her ends. Then she spoke with me about her cause.

Naturally, I didn't give a fuck about some insectoids robbing some human colonies in the terminus-systems and eventually killing the people living there. The collector's never did ME harm, other human's did. Especially this one time... this one time... I wasn't strong enough to protect myself...

Never again I would let that happen to me. That's what I swore to myself. Anyway, fucking Commander Julia Shepard, now apparently an associate of these Cerberus-criminals, gave me the opportunity to do something productive. Something "good". I didn't really know, why exactly I accepted to help her in saving this forsaken galaxy. Maybe because it gave me a well-paid excuse to blow up things. Maybe because it felt good to have some people around, whose interest it wasn't - at least not primarily- to kill me. Nevertheless I still was very suspicious of Shepard's allegiance with Cerberus - especially with that Cerberus-bitch Miranda.

Then Shepard gave me these Cerberus-files. A nice move of her, indeed. Maybe she did it just to coax me into trusting her - maybe she did it because she seriously didn't care about Cerberus but instead of her cause. Besides Shepard seemed to be a woman of principles rather than of profit. A concept solely new to me at that stage of my life.

So I read these files carefully- very carefully; believe me. And there I found it. Pragia... this planet of nightmares... Here I was "raised", if you ever could call that being "raised". They tortured me, they made experiments on me, they made me do cruel things to others and they did cruel things to me... I would cry, if there were any tears left to be shed.

I struggled for quite some time with myself - and yet I decided, no I _knew_ , that I had to blow up this place of horror in order to be able to ever sleep again in peace. So I went to Shepard and asked her about this little "sidequest". To my surprise she didn't oblige and immediately agreed to come here and check the facility out and, if necessary, blow it up.

This was the single most good thing someone ever did to me...

...and it somehow changed the way I _looked_ at her completely.

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 _Please let me know, how you like the story so far!_

 _Tell me, if you got any wishes for the plot!_

 _Cheers!_


End file.
